Miracles Do Not Cease...

I'm not even sure how to start this entry.  To think about the worst moments of my life, this one ranks right at the top.  Saturday morning, as we were getting ready to head to the lake, the kids were cleaning up, getting swimsuits on, etc.   As I heard Josh yell, the words that came out of his mouth made my entire body just want to shut down.  As I heard the words "Meili just fell out of the window."  I just wanted and prayed to hear her screams but I heard nothing.  This was one time I would've preferred all the screaming in the world.....not silence.  Russel and I were racing down the stairs as fast as we could.  He made it out the door and to her side just as I was coming through the door.  What I saw was a scene I will never forget.  That moment will be seared in my memory forever.  I saw my sweet little angel laying on the concrete, curled up, not moving, with eyes rolled to the side and she was bleeding a lot.  I think I almost collapsed but something in my head told me "you have to stay calm, you have to do what you can to help."  So my logical side took over and I looked and Russel and said "what do you need?"  He looked up at me kind of in shock and didn't say anything.  I said "call 911?"  He said Yes and I could literally see him switch from father mode to doctor mode.  His instincts kicked in and he started doing everything he knew.

I ran back upstairs to find a phone and by the time I got back downstairs and the operator was asking me if she was breathing, I could hear her crying.  That moment was so beautiful to know she was alive and breathing.  By then Russel had carried her into the house to try to stop the bleeding.  I rushed back inside and even though she was crying, her eyes were still rolled to the side.  It was awful, I felt that she must have brain damage.  I asked Russel why she wouldn't look at me, and he just said "I don't know" through his teary red eyes.  I laid down by her and just kept going in and out of her line of sight.  All of sudden, her eyes popped into focus on me and I felt a huge flood of relief.  It seemed like an eternity before the ambulance got there....about 25 minutes....they were great though, all volunteers that were called away from their families.  Russel let me go in the ambulance with her while he packed up the other kids to meet us in Logan at the hospital.  We assumed we would be heading down to Primary Children's as soon as we reached Logan.  The gash in her head was through to the skull and she had fallen 14-18 feet.  The bedroom she was in was above the garage and the bottom of the window was about 14 feet off the driveway.  She was then standing on the window seat which took her up another 3-4 feet.  Josh and Ryan were in the room making a bed.  They heard a "pop" sound and turned just in time to see the screen pop out and Meili fall.  All of the kids went through a lot that day.

On the way down the canyon, Meili was calm.  She wanted to sleep, probably in a little bit of shock, but we needed to keep waking her up to make sure she stayed with us.  Everytime she woke up, she would cry out my name but as long as she knew I was there, she stayed calm.  Right as we got into Logan, she kept asking me in her sweet little voice "almost there? we there yet?"  It just about broke my heart.  As we got to the hospital, I saw Sheri and Calvin were there waiting.  What an awesome feeling to know I had such a good support system.  Russel had not made it yet and I was feeling very alone.  But to know they were there, gave me strength.

By this time, she had responded well enough to the paramedics that I knew she was aware of her surroundings, etc.  That gave me a lot of peace.  Once in the ER, they did a CT scan, x-rays, blood work, etc. and miraculously she had no major trauma.  No skull fracture, no bones broken....her liver was bruised not to mention the big cut in her head, and she had landed on her hip and was bruised badly.  She couldn't walk for a little bit and we were concerned her femur might be broken but again, she just hit it really hard.  When she was told she could go get a popsicle, she hobbled the best she could down the hall.  We were convinced she'd be okay.

They called the plastic surgeon in to stitch up her head and he did a great job.  He had to trim off the ragged edges but he did a great job considering what it looked like.  They decided to let us go home and Meili was darn ready.  The only problem??  She was piping mad when she found out we would not be going back to Bear Lake.

Russel had just barely put the screens on the windows in the kids rooms the night before.  As he was doing that, I just had this little thought of Meili falling through a window.  I went to ask him how strong the screens were and if we needed to take some precautions.....but things distracted me and I never remembered to ask.  At midnight, when Russel went to check on the kids, he had a thought to shut the windows but decided the kids would sleep better.  And poor little Abi came to me crying while we were waiting for the ambulance saying that she felt like she should've shut the windows too.  It was such a traumatic experience for the kids to go through and the cousins too.  We were all a mess.  But one thing that got me through was all the prayers that were being said.  As I ran for the phone, I heard one of the older cousins, Ryan, gather the children together to say a prayer.  It gave me the hope and peace I needed to get through.  I also knew our families were praying fervently for little Meili and I could feel their love and comfort.

I was overwhelmed with gratitude to our Heavenly Father.  I have never felt so inadequate in thanking him.  Words just weren't enough.  He was so good to our family that day and we truly believe angels must have caught her.  As we replayed every moment, it soon became clear that her decision to put her life jacket on that morning (she was so excited to get to the lake) literally saved her.

You know when you get those promptings and then you never really know if something would've happened?  This is one of those times.  We know what happened because we didn't act soon enough on the promptings we had.  As I think about how different our lives could've been in just a split second, it really puts into perspective what is the most important.  At that moment, nothing else mattered.  We needed her to be okay and we are eternally grateful that Heavenly Father blessed us with this miracle.

Grandpa and Grandma came to the hospital and what an awesome thing that was.  It was wonderful to be surrounded by family.  Russel brought all the kids in to say hi and of course they were still a little shaken up.  Meili had been given some pretty strong pain medication and J.D. and Nick were a little concerned about the way she was acting.  I assured them, she was a little dopey from the med.  They were so relieved.  Meili's spirits were lifted and shortly after we got home Matt and Gina showed up with the yummiest dinner ever.  Of course they all spoiled her with balloons, bubbles, activity books, etc.

After we got home, I went into our bedroom and the first thing I saw was a paper on the floor that Meili had written "MOM" on.  I cannot imagine  how I could've dealt with any other outcome than the one we were blessed with.  I could not sleep for days.  I went back and forth between reliving every moment to being so overwhelmed with gratitude and thankfulness.  When you realize how fragile life is, your outlook changes, not too mention paranoia....it didn't help Josh got his driver's license the next week.  I was a wreck!!

Our Bishop also came to visit Meili.  Meili adores him.  On most Sundays, she will run up on the stand after sacrament meeting to give him a big hug.  He brought her a beautiful rose and a bouquet of suckers.  He definitely knows what our girl loves!!

It took our sweet girl a couple of days to get back to her spunky, feisty self.....and she walked like an old lady for quite a few days, but she is such a little miracle to us.  We know she has an important purpose on earth......we just are thrilled it seems to be a long one :)  And yes there are now safetys on the windows.  Need to know which are the best?  Just ask....I've done my research.