An Amazing Experience

I decided it was time to start a blog. I am not great at keeping a journal and these last few months have been truly amazing and need to be documented before I forget all the wonderful blessings and miracles that we have seen.

Before I continue with our story, I want to rewind a little bit to give you a background of our experience over the last two years. We have felt like we wanted to add another child to our family and have prayed several times over the last couple of years. We prayed, fasted, and went to the temple many times but each time, the answer was no. We didn't feel like it was a "no, you are done with your family," we just felt like it wasn't the right time. I had some health problems going on and we felt like maybe we needed to get to the bottom of those first....then it would be right. So as we finally got those worked out, we prayed and attended the temple again....but once more, the answer was "no, not now." We just couldn't figure out why. J.D. would be 6 in February and it just didn't seem to make sense that we would wait....but we did. I just couldn't shake the feeling though that there was something bigger for us. I didn't feel like that stage of my life was done, so we resolved that we would just have to be patient and watch as the Lord's plan would play out.

Our journey started the first part of October. Russel came home one day and told me about a little patient of his that came in that day. She was darling and had just been adopted from China. She was 6. I didn't think much of it at the time. He tells me stories everyday. But something happened and for the next three days, I was consumed with this little girl and her journey of being adopted. I was overwhelmed with emotion and knew what direction we were headed.

So as Russel and I started to look into the adoption process a little more, we felt like we were hit with a ton of bricks. This was it! This was the answer we had prayed so fervently for. We looked into many different options, but when it came right down to it, we knew it wasn't a healthy infant we were looking for (why would we? we could do that ourselves). It was then that we found the Waiting Child Program in China. This is a program where there are hundreds of children with special needs that are waiting to be adopted. We knew we had found our program. It was at that time that we also found out that to adopt from China, you can only have 4 children living in your home. That was a moment where the last two years came into perspective even more. We needed to do this before we did anything else, or we wouldn't be able to.

One night we had all our kids come into the bedroom and we shared with them what we were thinking about doing. We wanted the kids involved from the first and we wanted it to be a family decision. As we explained the program and even showed them some of the children that were waiting, they all wanted to do this. It was beautiful as we watched each of our children become so excited about this new little sister we were going to find. We truly all felt the spirit of the Lord and knew this was what our family needed to do.

As we started into the process, we weren't sure what our families would think or say. But we decided it didn't matter, this was right for us. At first we just told our parents and we were overcome with their reaction. They were emotional, happy, excited, and so supportive. They made our experience that much sweeter.

We decided to wait on telling anyone else for a little while. We knew it would be a very long process. So we swore the kids to secrecy. And they were amazing. It was very hard for them to not tell their friends, teachers, etc. as they were so excited but they did it. We were so proud of them.

At one point during the process we had to send in some medical forms. Beth, from WACAP, called to let me know they thought China would reject us because of Russel's seizure in 2007. We couldn't believe it. We had just felt so strongly about this whole thing that it was kind of a shock. She went through all the other adoption programs...Ethiopia, India, Russia, etc. I told her I would have to talk to Russel and see. So as Russel and I prayed about it, we just felt like China was still the only option for us. We knew either the doors would be opened and everything would work or there was something else we needed to learn from this experience. That Sunday we all fasted, even little J.D., and it was a wonderful experience to feel united as a family in this purpose. The next week, Beth called and said they thought we could keep moving through the process.

On December 1, 2009, we were sent a child referral for Dang Kangyuan. We were so excited. It was our first month where we were eligible to be matched with a child. They told us if we would accept an older child, it would go much faster. We told them we would take up to 5 years old. In my heart though I really felt like she would be 2 or 3. The demand for children under 3 is so great because a lot of families are hoping to get infants so they want as young as they can get and it takes much longer to be matched. When Beth told me she had just turned 2 in August, I was so excited. Beth also informed me that she had a cleft lip and a cleft palate. The lip had been repaired once but the palate had not been. I sent the picture to Russel and he came home at lunch. He knew immediately it was her. I too felt like she was ours already but my heart was breaking for her as I thought about all the many things she would have to go through. It was very difficult. I think I reacted how I would have reacted had I been pregnant and found out the same thing. It also wasn't much help that Russel was telling me how far the effects of the cleft palate could go. So i was trying to cope with the worst outcome. The medical records in China are not all that extensive so it could be much worse than they say or possibly better. It was a very rough 24 hours for me...it was just very difficult to think of my sweet daughter and the things she would have to face. We had a lot of questions about her medical records and they told us that we could eventually ask those and decline the match later if we chose too. But after just a short time, we knew it didn't matter, she was ours and we would do our best to help her with whatever she needed. We had 24 hours to tell them if we accepted the match. It was amazing to see our love for her and the kids love for her grow so fast in such a short time. We already felt like she was part of the family. And that right there is a beautiful miracle. We sent the letter of intent on December 2, 2009, and have never looked back. We are in love with her. The kids are awesome to watch. Josh made her a puzzle piece in wood shop to send in the care package that we will eventually get to send. He found the Chinese symbol for Love and painted it on the puzzle piece. Abi, of course, just can't believe she is actually going to have a sister. She is already planning all the fun things they will do together. Nick thinks she's adorable and can't wait to play games with her. They all pray for her and their prayers are so sweet and sincere. I love to listen to J.D.'s prayers every night to see what he will come up with next. Here are just a few of the things he has prayed for.

"bless her that she will like my gingerbread house"
"bless that we won't leave her at a train station" (one little girl we read about was left at a train station)
"bless that people will be nice to her"
"bless her that she will come wrapped in a big present with a bow....and bless that she will be able to breathe." (right before Christmas)

After we matched with her, Russel couldn't stand to keep it a secret. I wanted to wait for a little while longer but the kids were just dying to tell their friends. Nick's baptism was the next Saturday and we decided we would let him do the honor and tell the rest of our families. This is the story he shared:

I want to thank everyone for coming. It made my day even more special because all of you came.

I want to tell you a story about a little girl. She lives in an orphanage in China. She is 2 years old. She was born with a cleft lip and a cleft palate. When she was just six months old, her parents left her alone in a village. The police searched and searched for her parents but they never found them.

A family in the village let her live with them for a little while. Just a few weeks later she was sent to an orphanage to live. When she was 1 year old a doctor did the first operation of her cleft lip. She is a quiet little girl who loves to play with her roommates and her nannies. Her favorite thing to play is family. She loves to dance when music is turned on. She is talking a little and is very polite. She will need many more surgeries and lots of love.

(he then showed the picture of her)

I am proud to introduce you to my soon-to-be sister, Meilee. She should be coming home next summer or fall.

As we were trying to decide on a name, my mom mentioned Meilee. I fell in love with it and knew that was it. I wanted a somewhat American-sounding name but I wanted to keep some of her culture with her. I came up with many spellings....Malie, Maylie, Maeli, etc. I didn't settle on the spelling until a dear friend of me told me that mei in Chinese means beautiful or good deed and that mei mei means little sister. It was then that I knew we needed to spell her name Meilee.

Now we are just playing the waiting game. We are waiting to get our fingerprint appointment from USCIS and once we get our approval and clearance from them, we will submit our dossier to China. It's such a long process and we can hardly stand it but we know it will be a wait well worth it.